A feeling of content

Sunday evening, and I am sitting in front of my Mac, reflecting on the week that has passed and the week to come. Its been a good week and I am feeling quite good about myself. I have followed this weeks training program, and it has been very awarding. I have had lots of running this week, and my 80 minute run today was a bit of a challenge. Didn't feel like running. But I kicked my own ass out of the house with a little help from my husband and Krister, (a friend on Funbeat, Twitter and Instagram, also doing Ironman 2014). My body has been good to me, and It feels like I have found a flow. I have lost 4,5 kilos (around 10 pounds) and I hope to lose about 10 kilos more (22 pounds). Not that I feel bad about myself, just don't want to carry excess weight during my Ironman challenge. However..... I have had 3 pretty bad food days, one with chocolate, one with cheese and one with candy. But today is a new day and I'll just continue where I left off. I'll be fine. No stress.

I received an email Friday, my Gym asking me if I wanted to participate in the spinning course. I have 3, 90 minute sessions in march and than a new try-out in April. So I just have to give it my best. At least they think I am inspiring... Thats what the email said anyway. And we are 11 participants that they want to give an extra chance.

Next week is going to be a challenge, I have hell week at work, with lots of meeting and stuff to do. But with discipline and good planning it should work out. The worst thing that could happen is that I miss one of my training days, but I have learned that If I am over stressed my training is just waist of time. Then Its better to rest, and continue the day after.

I just hope that Madde, gets well soon, this isn't as fun without her. She has had the worst of bad luck, so she is worth being heathy and achieving great results. She has a winner attitude and a winner mindset. Girl, everything is going to be alright! Together, thats how we are doing this.

Ironman Kalmar 2014

My muscles are starting to get defined due to my weight loss. I always have muscles you just can't see them... :-D

Breakfast, most important meal of the day

Nina gave me this, and I luv it. Going to live by it. Thanks dear friend <3 i="">

Even monkeys can keep their beat. It like someone up there is messing with me... :-D

Girl, you better get well soon, we have some fun to do, and I miss you when your not around.

Rejected as a spinning instructor

I know, I always blog on the weekend but its really been hard for me to write this week. I have been so excited about becoming a spinning instructor, I knew it was my fate. Well quess what? It isnt. Everything went so well and I have been fantasizing about my course and seeing myself in the instructor bike. 

They called me last Friday and informed me that I was soooo close to making it. "Well close isnt good enough in my world" We really liked you but you didnt make it all they way. My first thought, was  ".... them" But mature as I am I responded like a grown up. "Oh my, I was hoping so much" before I could continue sounding all grown up, they asked me if I wanted to do a spinning course and work on my techniques and holding my beat. Im like ... hell yes. (And again, I didnt actually use those words) 

I cant honestly give up knowing that they "think" I cant hold my beat? I am glad they wanted me so much that they put me in a couse, but I feel rejected and kinda failed. Its hard to tell the whole world, I am not good enough. Actually I hate it.

I have had a few days to think about the outcome, and I truley beleive that everything happens for a reason. It wasnt meant to be at this moment. Maybe someone or something is helping me stay focused on this years most important goal? Ironman Kalmar 2014 I am ready to rock..:-)

Well at least I still love spinning, last weekends 3 hour session

Maddes armpit.. 

Not as cool as I thought

The only time I eat snickers and enjoy it. 

Best training week ever and final interview

Sunday evening, feeling really happy. Just had two glasses of bubbles together with Christina, one of my newest friends, and her beautiful friends. She is one of those people that everyone wants as a friend... Intelligent, beautiful, funny and loyal.  She gives me so much energy and makes me feel special.

This last training week has been amazing. Last Saturday I did 195 minutes of spinning, followed by a Sunday with a 22K run. Monday rest and then 3 totally crazy training days with all of the distances adding up to a Half Ironman. I did it, and I did it very well. When I ended Thursday, it was like wow wow wow. Its really impressive how well my body has responded to all this training. I believe in me... a lot.. but its still like, I have to pinch my own arm to really understand. I don't look like an Ironman, I don't talk like one and my body is more of the size of a "Bullmamma" It's a Swedish expression for a mom who bakes a lot and you can tell it on her figure. Okey, I am slowly losing weight but I still have chubby on my tummy, but how cool isn't it to run faster than all of those skinny girls.... :-)

Rest on Friday and I had weightlifting on Saturday. I ate dinner at Maddes Saturday night, she is the best cook ever, and I ate soooooo much good food and candy ( I know, I quit eating candy weeks ago......eh.... not.. obviously.... I did quit... but started again.......) I had so much to eat I couldn't sleep... So I spent most of my planned sleep time watching Netflix. So this morning, or should I say this afternoon at10-ish ... I didn't want to go out in the snow slush rainy weather (I was damn tired). I forced myself out. Kicked my own ass, hard. I managed 8K in 45 minutes. Pretty good.. :-)

I also did my interview for the position as a spinning instructor this afternoon, the finals. It was kind of strange. I honestly don't know how it went. Felt more like I just talked and talked and talked and talked making no sense at all. How interesting can I be? I can still hear my own voice and constant babbling. Some questions came as a total surprise, even though I had though it through carefully. I felt like I was 17 again. You know when you really want something bad, and you kinda talk to much instead of keeping your cool.... I just have to hope for the best.

I like Friskis and Svettis, so I REALLY hope they liked me too, thats all I can hope for. What is meant to be is meant to be.


Madde, full focus and getting toned up

Like I said, she is the best cook.... This is heathy, but all that candy????

My punishment cauz I stuffed myself, couldn't sleep (Saturday night). Orange parts are when I am awake, Light blue, light sleep and dark blue deep sleep. (Maybe it was the late night coffee)

Last weekends 3 hour indoor cycling. Good music and good instructors

Love this Tee, Collect moments, not things.

Jawbone - Scary shit

I bought a new toy, the most fantastic toy ever. Nothing new or revolutionary, but my daughter started telling me that I should buy a Jawbone since I am always on the run. Mom - she said, It will keep track of all your movement, and you can sleep with it.  I wasn't fully convinced at first. My husband and I had bought a Nike fuel band for my mom, which is great cause it keeps her moving... ALOT. But since I work-out a lot I have never really felt the need for any kind of devices. Caroline was going to buy me one in Dubai, but they didn't have one in my size. I started googling and asking around, and realized that this just might be the right device for me for several reasons. One good reason is that I often go to bed way to late and some nights and I don't sleep that well. Jawbone tracks all of my nightly activities. The stats are really interesting, and I just might be able to see a pattern in the future, if physical activity, food intake and my monthly cycle might affect my sleep. Jawbone might help me end my sleepless nights. Another reason is that its connected with my fitness pale, so It keeps track of calorie intake and output. I kinda eat to much. That's really one things I absolutely hate about growing older is that I can´t eat as much.

I have only had my Jawbone for a few days, but something has really surprised me.  It's  the activity stats. Listen - one day has 24 hours, my goal is to sleep 7 and a half hours a night. That leaves me with 16 and a half hours of awake time. I work-out a lot... A lot.. 1700-1800 minutes a month. approx 63 minutes a day. I often walk to work, it takes about 30 minutes one way. Guess how many hours I am physically active per day???? A normal day I move around for only 2-3 hours!!! This means that I sit on my ass or just hang around for about 13 hours every single day. 13 hours, can you believe that. No wonder people are getting fat. Mats, my colleague at work told that their is a device in the US that warns you if you have moved around less than 30 minutes a day. 30 minutes?  That is some scary shit.

The jawbone has just in a few days taught me that using the stairs, walking the extra distance makes a huge difference for my health. Training for Ironman has nothing to do with health. But using my body for what its meant to be used for... That is simply what health is all about....
We do not want to end up like the characters in Wall-E....

Ps I am so happy that I made my test as a spinning instructor, I have my interview on the 2 of February, so keep your fingers crossed that this works out as well!

My Jawbone, looks kinda good

Todays overview, 76% of my sleeping goal, 260% of my activity goal. I was up late drinking bubbles....

This is yesterdays stats. I had a rest day, but walked to work, had meetings, an moved around quite a bit. (What I thought)  2 hours and 2 minutes of activity. This can impossible be heathy...

Last nights sleep activities, slept pretty good even if it was to short 

I had to attach the Jawbone to my biking shoe if its going work when I biked

I just want to remind you guys about who I am, a true Cocktail Triathlete

I had some help, otherwise my 3 hour cycling today would have been impossible

Blacks have it in their blood

How many times have you heard the expression that "blacks have in their blood when It comes to dancing". Its like... most Swedes think that all blacks can dance, and most blacks can sing. Well its WRONG. Obviously... Either there is something wrong with the color of my skin or that expression is BS.

I can't sing, everyone who knows me, also know its the pure truth. On the other hand I have a white mom, so I am guessing its from her side of the family, on the other hand, there are quite a few family members on dads side that can´t sing either. But I have always seen myself as a pretty good dancer. Not that I am good at choreography, but I have always been able to hold my beat.... At least thats what I have always thought..

I have applied to become a spinning instructor at my gym. I love biking outdoors, and I love indoor biking as well. So I applied for the position to instruct 2 classes a week. Why not inspire others while I am working out anyway?

I went to a meeting in the beginning of december to get more information about the course and how to participate in the try-outs. (Important features are: Keep the beat, know your techniques well and that you have the ability to inspire others). We also had the opportunity to test, and the instructor would give us tips on what we needed to work on before the try-outs. Well I got on that bike an showed them that I had the time of my life. And It was fun. I was proud of my performance and I felt the feeling.... Damn .... I am pretty good! So I felt confident when it was time for my feedback.

I didn't believe my ears. She said, Desiree, you have to learn how to follow the beat of the music.......  Nooo....noooo.. nooo... I didn't hear that... That crazy women said I can't hold my beat? No one has ever told me that before. My stupid reply was "But I am black" She just looked at me. (She really didn't have a sense of humor either) But she said that before the try-outs try taking walks to the beat of the music, and do a lot of indoor cycling. Damn that was some real tough critic. First I just thought she was kinda crazy or that she didn't like me or something. See thats what happens when I don't want to admit that I suck in something. I find excuses....:-D. Well I did my homework, and I realized that I actually kind of suck in holding my pace, in biking, especially between songs and switching between siting and standing. Last friday, I thought it was great idea to do a class before the try-outs on Saturday, so I booked a morning class..... Hmmmm.... If I suck, the instructor of that class sucked even more. I should have guessed, since we only where 12 people booked in advance.... I did spinning to some hindi music. Keeping the beat to normal music isn't that easy, you should have seen me do the Hindi thang. The only thing going through my head was. This better be over soon. He is killing me. I hate this music. I suck.

Today was the big day. I went there, I did my best and I really tried to keep my beat. I am not sure how it went. I was much better than last time, but I am not sure if I was good enough. We started out with a 40 minute class to test our endurance and techniques, and they said that they would correct us if we did something wrong. So I guess that part went well. And after that we had a 2x2 minute songs each that we instructed or piers, and of course.. I got the worst song ever... Maybe not the worst.. well one girl got "I can Boogie" with Baccara, if they had given me that song.... I would have left. Damn.... I hate Baccara, I may not be-able to keep my beat, but Baccara sure can't sing.

Keep your fingers crossed, on Monday I will know if I make it to the final round.

My dear husband fixing the car so he could drive me this morning

This is where the try-out where held. One of the best gyms for spinning. F&S Hagastan

28 participants and 12 instructors today. We had them eyes on us

I am always on of the first. Hate being late or stressed

Perfect timing

This week has been my recovery week, thats when I have the least amount of training hours. I have only had 5 training sessions this week, none of them exceeding an hour and most of them in a slower pace. Today I had a 60 minute jog scheduled in a slow pace. The timing was perfect. It is the first day of snow in a very long time and I LOVE running in snowy weather. Its quiet, feels warmer and so much lighter outside. In this dark county of Sweden it is needed. The slower pace gave my husband and I the possibility to talk, take pictures and enjoy our jog, just like a nice long walk. Although we ran in a slower pace, took pictures and did some running skill exercises we did a 10k on the hour. In brick shoes ( icebugs). Its nice to come home without feeling exhausted, just purely energized.

I weighed in on Friday as well. I have been logging my food intake in My fitness pale for 16 days, and It has given me back my perspective on what I actually eat. I know so much about food and its contents, but it still surprises me how easy it is to eat to much. (Even though I am a foodoholic) In the beginning, it was like, I used up all of my calories before dinner, including the extra calories I earn in my training..... Going to bed hungry a couple of nights in a row, made me rethink. And I had a one day food orgy (I have a tendency to over eat when my husband travels... not good, but the truth).

I estimate that I have lost about 2 kilos since I started, I use my tits as a measuring cup. When they don't fit in my hands I know I am way to heavy. If they are small and hide easily behind my hands, thats when my weight is perfect. Usually perfect is somewhere around 65K. So I am about 10 kilos to heavy. Best part is that it doesn't worry me the least anymore. I am strong, in good health and have endurance. And Have have 5 months to lose it, 2 kilos a month. Perfect!

My Ironman mindset is a huge help, when I see that chocolate bar, its like.... Desiree do you really want to carry that around for at least 14 hours... No I don't. It as easy as that.

Thanks mom for joining me in My fitness Pale. Your walks are so long I have a hard time keeping up with you burning calories

I used my new Ironman soles that Carina gave me. They are the best! especially in Icebugs.

I ran so slow even Björn caught me on camera. He usually isn't quick enough ..:-DD

But I barely caught him..... hmmmm

I love the scenery around our park, The royal park Djurgården

Here I come, had toooo much cloths on though... I got HOT

Jogging and taking pictures at the same time. Multi-tasking, a female thang...

Scratching my forehead, It always starts to itch when I sweat.... 

2013 recap

2013 has been an interesting year, like every year. Good things happen, bad things happen. weird things happen, strange things happen, interesting things happen, new friends are made, some are unfriended. Some days are adventurous and some days are just plain boring. Life.... Just plain life. I think this is something that every single one of us recognize, I just think its important to reflect on the past, and learn from our mistakes and embrace the positives. Here are some examples of my reflections.

My best memories 2013:

• The Island of Corse, France. One of my best vacations together with my wonderful family
• Family reunion in Milwaukee together with Caroline, and new Family members where found. My heart beats a little extra for Audrey Allen, a fantastic women and inspirer. And to spend time with Theresa, my sister
• Rio de Janeiro, Brazil together with the whole family. Mom, kids people I love. Paradise on Earth. The country of the color blind.
• My first Triathlon Olympic distance, 3.10 I still remember the feeling though the whole race
• Andreas training days in Stockholm and meeting his other clients, and finding new friends
• Spending 24 hours at Grand Hotel with my Husband. He spoils me rotten
• Rotterdam with my friend Cici. ghosts and interesting people
• My new granddaughter

Most stimulating experiences:

• Swimming lessons with Annie
• Triathlon camp in Mallorca with Madde, Johanna, Björn, Andreas och Ida. Fantastic last day dinner.
• Running with Malin Ewerlöf, one of Swedens best runners
• Running with Aregawi (World championen 1 500meters) and Jessica Claren (one of the best motivators), 
• Milan with Caroline, finding out that my kid has a much better sense of direction than I have. Kids are starting to teach me things.... shitty scary

Most hated experiences:

• Riddarfjärdssimning. Awful awful awful
• Gaining weight instead of losing weight
• Having to deal with idiots - learning how to deal with it, I have no other choice

Questionable experiences but good for me:

• Weightlifting with Helena.
• Triathlon training by Sjöhistoriska. Doing mini triathlons with people as crazy as me. Went from constantly being last to middle results.
• My breakdown - Tough period, but I leaned a lot about myself

Sad experiences:

• The loss of my first father figure, Lester Williamson
• The loss of my first Father-in-law and Caroline and Patrics grandfather, Hans Karlsson.

2014 - Bring it on, I am ready to rock!

Canyoning in France, Island of Corse, loved it!

Family reunion in Milwaukee, Loved the Green tees

My crazy cousin Audrey, and her 1000 rep challenge. Just try it, you die trying... Trust me

Björn and I on our special weekend at Grand Hotel, Stockholm

My homies Annie, and Madde supporting me while doing my half marathon

Hate Hate Hate... need no words

Ahhhhhhh my first ever triathlon, Loved IT!!!!

Dining in Rio with the family

Spend quality time with one of my favorite homies

We just have so much fun when spending training time together. Johanna and Madde.

My best friend and love of my life

In memory of 2 of my favorite men, Lester

And Hasse.....

Wish you all a wonderful 2014